Fighting for a normal day
In a lot of ways, Shawntel is making her way back to a familiar place.
Now that she’s enrolled in Simpson’s Family Housing Program, her overall goal is a return to “stability.” Returning to work, getting a driver’s license, getting her twin 8-year-old boys off to school; it’s the stuff of normal, everyday life for most folks.
But in other ways, it’s a whole new world, because she’s doing it independently. Building up the structures she needs to work and parent and exist, joyfully, on her own.
“To be able to do anything without anyone’s help,” she says. That’s her goal for the year.
To understand why, it’s necessary to go back to around 2018. Her struggle with homelessness began first as a struggle with an abusive relationship with her sons’ dad. Like a lot of people who have been in this difficult situation, she found herself having to choose between a certain kind of stability – the house, the car, the life she knew – and a better life for her and her kids.
Eventually, she chose to leave. Unfortunately, she ended up in another abusive relationship with another partner. Once again, the difficult, almost impossible decision reared its head. Stick with what you know, or leave… and find out whatever’s coming next.
Again, she left.
Not everyone can claim to have the courage it takes to venture into the total unknown, let alone do it twice.
Shawntel was in the shelter system for six months before she signed up for a supportive housing program, and she met her first Simpson advocate: Kristi. She began the difficult work of building herself back up again, single parenting, studying, and all the rest, even through the difficulties posed by the pandemic.
A lot of her hardest battles took place in her head and her heart.
“[Being unhoused] takes a toll on your mental health,” she says. After all that upheaval, when she finally had an apartment to herself, she found herself unable to unpack. Something inside her was still terrified that everything would be taken away. That none of this was hers. Getting back to “feeling like a person that deserves something,” she says, is “not as easy as you think.”
Besides, there was no shortage of people out there who seemed keen on reinforcing the idea that she didn’t. That because she didn’t have a home, she didn’t have worth.
“Going from shelter to shelter, I felt like I was not treated like a human being at times. Like I was treated like a number,” she says. “I met these people, and they treated me like a person.”
She then took that power and momentum and put it into an advocacy role of her own. Shawntel is one of the leaders of Simpson’s Participant Voice Committee. It’s a platform for the individuals and families participating in Simpson’s programs to speak up about what is and isn’t working, what they need, and what they truly want.
She also helped organize field trips for her, her kids, and some of the other participating families. Her first outing was to a pumpkin patch, just in time to celebrate the fall season.
“It was such a huge turnout; it was great,” she says. “All the kids were having fun, I was taking pictures.”
And she and the other caregivers were able to spend some time together, too. Even though they all live in the same building, she says, everybody’s got a life of their own, and their own struggles to worry about. It’s sometimes hard to find times to connect with one another and build a support network. These outings allowed everybody to take a breath, relax, and notice one another. To take stock of how far they’ve all come, and where they’ve been.
Shawntel’s come a long way for something as seemingly simple as stability. But she feels stronger now than she’s ever been.
“I really know all my triggers,” she says, almost cheerfully. “I know everything about myself now… I’ve got my pride back.”
If there’s one thing she wants others to know about what people can experience when they find themselves without a home, it’s this: even a little support can mean the world to someone.
“You just don’t know when somebody’s at their breaking point,” she says.
There are lots of ways to show your support. You can explore them on our “Ways to Help” webpage.
Learn more about the Participant Voice Committee and how participants are supporting one another.